Saturday, June 2, 2012
I was just at Mother's Market and turned to walk down the isle and saw a beautiful baby in her mother's arms. This child held my eyes as I walked toward her. I was so transfixed on her face that I didn't really see anything else. As I came toward her, I began to speak to her, "hello little one, you precious little thing you, blau blau, blau." I was all in the oohing and awwwing phase of my dialog, and she was totally with me. Her mother turned and I greeted her. Beautiful and charming woman. I said your daughter is such a sweetheart, what a light, something to this affect. She agreed. I looked at the woman and asked her straight out, which I never ever do. Did you have her natural, she said no, she ended up with a c-section. I looked her right in the eye and just said, so be it. Let all that go, all that guilt, shame, whatever that is, you are doing just fine with her and by her. She admitted that she was feeling guilty. So we continue to talk back and forth, I gave her my card. I said to her, your daughter came through just the way she needed to that is the best way for the two of you. She stated that she wanted a natural birth but after three days, ended up with a c-section.
This brings me to why I share this story today, there are many women out there who are choosing c-sections for a variety of reasons. And here this woman wanted with all her heart to have a natural birth and ended up with a c-section and carrying guilt about it. I can tell that she put her heart and soul into that birth experience. We have to let go of the guilt and truly understand that it does not serve us to hold onto it. Even if you have chosen a c-section and realized later on that you "should not" have done it, you must come to a place where you forgive yourself. For women who are choosing c-section because it is what they "want" to do, wake up! You are trying to control the birth process, when the baby comes, how the baby comes, trying to keep your vagina intact, wanting this doctor to deliver your baby, wanting your baby to have this birthday, etc. etc. etc. This is outright manipulation of a natural and organic process known as birth, you may not see the results of your choice for many years, but when you do... you too, will be called to forgive yourself and to relinquish the judgments of having made such unconscious or conscious selfish decisions.
Every experience that we have, every choice that we make that is not in alignment with our Highest Self, our God-Self, is an experience and choice that will have to be made Holy. Meaning... that we must shine the light of forgiveness, love and acceptance onto ourselves so that we release the guilt and shame that we have carried about making such a decision or having gone through an experience that we have not liked. Every moment must be made Holy. How am I to shift my perception about the manner in which I chose to birth, or urgent manner in which my child's birth occurred. It is not about what did I do wrong, it is about how can that birth, that choice now serve me into moving into greater peace about it. This shifting of perception takes work, it takes practice, it takes patience and of course, forgiveness.
Now, back to this woman I met, she too was holding tremendous guilt about how she birthed, Probably feeling like a failure in that area, and so many other feelings. The birth of her beautiful daughter will have to be made into a Holy experience within her psyche, within her soul. She has to shift her perception about herself, of all the what ifs, how come I didn't, if only I had, etc. etc., etc. All these unsupportive ego thoughts have to be released, so that she can be on her way to living life in the affirmative. Even if she has not been thinking of this quilt everyday, it has been simmering deep inside her taking up residence. She needs to evict that guilt! We all need to evict our guilt from taking up residence within us! FORGIVENESS is the eviction notice if guilt has taken up residence in your consciousness. We best "git" busy!
In closing, to this beautiful woman and her 9 month old beautiful baby girl, I do believe we had a divinely synchronistic moment this morning, and I am most grateful. Thank you. Your daughter truly saw me and I truly saw her, and somewhere in her soul her frequency reasonated to me, "lady, come talk to my mama and let her know that she is doing a great job with me, I love her so much and I am so happy she is my mama!"